Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

I think I need to post some pictures one of these days. Maybe in 2 weeks, when I'm approaching that 8 week mark.

Yes pics for sure!!!! I know having mine here in the before and after section helps me.. I like to see where I began and where I am now.. I'll post a new one when I'm down to 128 or so as that will be 40 lbs total since I started last year. Congrats on the loss! You deserve to go shopping for sure

Quick post today, 'cause I'm feeling all kinds of crazed with a lot of personal stuff, and need to attend to that:

Current weight: 194.6
Pounds lost since last weigh in: 1 lb
Total weight lost in 6 weeks + 1 day: 22 lbs

Hope you're all well!!

Congrats on the 1 lb loss!! that brings you 1 lb closer to your goal

Hi all!

Sorry it's been awhile, but I've been crazy busy and consumed with some new projects in my life.

I had posted on Spryng's journal about how being on this diet means you're not counting calories, carbs, points, etc., and that you don't have to spend all of your waking hours with a count running in the back of your mind. This obsession about how much you're eating, how to rearrange your points all day, what you can eat, etc. When I did that, it took up so much time, so much energy, rented so much space in my brain. All I would think about was food and weight loss and trying to find ways to get myself fed for as little points or calories, and obsessing about when the weight was going to come off.

With THIS diet, now almost 7 weeks in, that is all GONE. Yes, of course, I still obsess about how much weight I'm going to lose to an extent, and I'm disappointed it's not been as much/as fast as I had hoped, but it's different. I know it's working. I just have to eat at the prescribed times, the prescribed amount, and walk away. The hunger isn't there like it was. The weight is coming off. My body is very different.

What's really different, though, and I think more importantly, is my relationship to myself. That was the unexpected gift of this diet. I can eat when hungry and stop when full. I've had a few imperfect days recently, and I've still dropped - because I simply CANNOT eat the way I used to. My body CANNOT take in the amounts of food it used to. I'm turning into a "normal" person, which I've always wanted to be, who can just eat and walk away. If I eat more than those 5 bites, I am WAY too full. If I give myself that 20 minutes to let the food sink in, I will notice how full I am.

So now I have all of this free time in my brain that I didn't used to have. Because the need to obsess is gone.

I think I had a lot of trouble with that in the past couple of weeks, when I was just doing the diet, not in the uber-focus that the beginning of this diet requires anymore. And so it was me, eating, then having what felt like this open space, emotionally. And that was HARD. Things I was avoiding confronting came to the forefront. Which sucks. But is good, because those things need to be confronted so you can challenge your dark stuff - that's where you make the big shifts in life, as unpleasant as it is.

It's incredible, if you're like me, and you've used food to squash down your feelings for most - if not all - of your life. And now, finally, you're not doing it anymore. And you can't do it anymore. I began having all of this emotional upheaval as a result, and let me tell you - it was SO worth it. I feel like I gave emotional birth in the past week or so, and my life is getting focused in a whole new way, one I've been dying for but haven't had in, well... ever.

I'm committed to my work, to my creative life in a way I never have been. And I'm not so drugged out by food, so I can be.

There's more, but I won't bore you with details, unless you're interested.

Suffice it to say, this program has changed more than my body.

Anyway... here's my current stats:

Current weight: 193.6
Weight lost since last weigh in: 1 pound
Total weight lost: 23 pounds

I'm kind of bummed that I won't be coming close to my original goal of -40 pounds before I go away next week, but I feel so good and different that I'm really ok with it for the most part. I'm hoping to lose another 4, at least, in the next week or so, so I can head off to the family thing (UGH) in the 180s.

Until soon...

I love how you think things outloud so we can be part of it I completely agree with you, this diet changes us for sure and not just physically.. just getting control of our hungerstat is liberating! Of course we are always going to deal with emotional eating, social situations etc but as far a real true hunger, we know what that feels like now and we know how to feed ourselves.. eat to live! not live to eat, I feel like I live that phrase better now. And yes I am interested! I don't think your details of your life could ever be boring

Aw, thank you both so much! It's so incredible to hear that you like what I write, that my "thinking out loud" is a good, inspiring thing. I'm a writer at heart, as well as a performer, and knowing that my words connect with someone, even "just" on a webpage journal, is a huge gift.

I'm going to get back to the words now... I just started working on a screenplay. My first ever. It's very different than novel/story, and I'm enjoying the process thus far. Then I gotta change hats and get working on stuff I'm performing (singing) at my parents' party next week. See? No time to obsess over food, or even eat more than 2 meals, for that matter!!! Yay 5BD!

Have a great day!!!

Btw: are we the only ones left around here?????

A fellow thespian!!! I love that!!! of course mine is only a hobby.. wish I could sing/write professionally.. shoot you know what I'd really really love to do? I'd love to narrate audio books.. I would love to just hole up in my office, reading these amazing novels aloud with my own set of characters coming to life with just my voice.. but when I looked into it once it requires an agent etc etc and is just as hard as getting an acting job so I stop pursuing it.. so now I just read to myself and invent lots of fun voices for the characters lol

and yes, I think there are only 3 of us around these forums right now.. it goes through spurts.. sometimes you'll find you are solo and no one will be around for weeks then it will pick up again. So never fear, someone ALWAYS joins or comes back lol

You said on someone else's journal: "It's trained me out of using food emotionally. Bingeing or overeating because something was bothering me, because I needed to not feel." Wow, well said! I want to get where you are...I binge to not feel. I want to retrain myself like you have. I have a long history with this diet as you can see from my journal...but I still haven't learned what you have learned, but I want to! : )))))