Bellydancer's Journal

I needed somewhere I could hold myself accountable for what I am doing. I signed up for this forum in 2013 at the end of the year winning to make some life changes after recently relocating to California. However, even though I change my circumstances with work and that time I still haven't changed things going on with my body for the better. I am 50 pounds more than when I signed up for this forum. I understand life happens and 2018 was one of the roughest years on record for me(job loss, SA, mourning), but emotional eating has always been a problem and now I'm trying to solve it. I turned 46 years old in 12 days and if I can just get that number down to 199 by 2023 then I will try my best. Of course, my body is changing as I get older but the weight is making it worse. Work and school do take its toll but I'm single and I have no kids so I do have some time to dedicate to workouts, which would help with the five-bite diet. I'm not talking about vigorous workouts but at least 15 or 30 minutes a day would make a difference. I was recently mortified by my result from a bite diet I did for two weeks at the beginning of September and found that I had only lost six pounds. It seems that 222 is a set point in 2022. My goal is to make sure I drop below 200 pounds by the end of the year. It's not a crazy goal but life gets crazy it makes the goal harder. I saw someone else post on here that started at 230 (the highest weight I have hit ever in my life last month) and managed to get down to 145 and had the same goal weight. I am 5'2 and that would be a good number for me to maintain at...At the end of the day, I just wanna be happy. If I can't be happy with myself then I can't expect anyone else to make me happy.

SW: 222
CW: 222
GW: 110

I understand I'm getting older because that's a part of life, but this set point is driving me crazy. I keep seeing 222.2. I'm not sure what else to do except burn more calories than I eat and I'm already doing the five-bite diet which means my metabolism must have slowed down to a screeching halt. I'm trying to stay positive and I'm trying not to get up my birthday is next week I turned 46. I haven't been below 200 in four years and I'm determined to see that by the end of the year.

I need a new plan. I believe there is a problem with my hormones, and I have to work on that to see results. My ankle is almost done healing from the injury I got at the airport almost 3 weeks ago. I figure I will concentrate on the hormones with the bites, and I should be fine. My weight went up on vacation, so I am trying to think about how to control that and slowly introduce physical activity without injuring my ankle further. I would like to be in the 100s again before New Years.

as far as your hormones, your hunger hormone is one to try to focus on. Eating when I only feel truly hungry has helped, good luck!

Thanks BeeSGee. I will probably try to concentrate on the bites into the new year. I have time to make a plan before the next school semester starts to work on my body and make some positive life changes. I should start by riding the new bike I got for myself.

Amazing! Just small consistent changes is all you need, enjoy your new bike and go into the new year strong and focused on YOU!

Good idea BeeGee. So many people try to lose weight for others, but it is hard to focus on yourself. Even when your body starts giving weight warnings to change, it is difficult to lose weight. I am trying not to binge but thinking about the future, and the past makes me binge every time. I am not present.

So I spent some time with family and found out that in pictures, I look huge. I am the largest I have ever been in my life. I am going to the doctor to get bloodwork done tomorrow, but I can't turn back time. I need to concentrate on the present and look at myself in the mirror more and see where I am so I know where I need to go....and the 5FB is gonna help get me there.

CW: 236
GW: 119

All the bloodwork came back in, and most of it was normal...but not all
However, two things came back that I needed medication for. One was an easy fix but triggered some past trauma.
The other.... life-changing result came in on Thursday. I have already started the 5BD again on Wednesday.
Because the scale went up again.....240.0. The Biggest and unhealthiest, I have been in my entire life.
Any physical ailment or sickness makes me feel lonelier because I have only myself to care for myself.

SW (6/29): 240
CW: 235.6
STGW: 190
LTGW: 140
Ultimate GW: 119

I am trying to adjust to the life after blood, or should I say my bloodwork results. I am noticing things that denote certain deficiencies, so I am aware of things happening with my body and trying to correct them. My weight increases during family visits, so I aim to be under 200 by my next visit. I have no one to blame, which often transfers into shame. So no more negative talk, just more realizing the patterns I repeat and attempting to change the pattern.

CW: 233.8
STW:199
LTGW:110

It is a good diary for everyone who is thinking about doing this type of diet, thanks for sharing it.