Tea's Journal

Tea-
You are doing so great, I cant believe you have been able to stay so strict for so long! I swear, I'm lucky if I can do 5 days straight. I love coconut oil. I use it instead of butter on my bagel thin in the morning on the days I have a 5 bite BF. A few days after I started doing that, my skin was softer without even using lotion. It seems weird that ingesting an oil can make such a difference on the outside. Keep up the fight! You are so close to goal

thankssss, ha i wish i was able to lose as much weight as u did as fast as u did 3jaysmom!!!!

weigh in as of yesterday around 6:30pm - 107.5lbs horrayyyyyy
2.5 lbs to the final goal.

So i've been re-evaluating, and since this is a lot of weight loss and i know that we're hovering around a low BMI goal i was wondering if i was getting that "too thin" look. After much deliberation, i dont think im actually that thin at all, and i think the 107 is a little number, but im a little person so its not really that big of a deal- i realize now how much weight i had on me that i shouldnt have had in the first place.

Another little something intersting --> i read an article the other day about the "warrior diet" here's the link if ur interested : http://www.warriordiet.com/ It is a diet about fat loss, not so much weight loss, but fat loss. This low cal diet has def taken alot of muscle definition away from me and left me with triceps that shamefully wiggle about, BUT i think once this diet is thru, this might be a good way to lose the FAT weight and put on some muscle and get toned up. I always find that i gain muscle pretty quickly, and now that im significantly smaller i hope that i can have little toned muscles rather than big bulky meat on me. The diet says do whatever u want during the day physically, but once ur done, come home and eat one big meal a day of healthy things that are rich in nutrients that will help to refuel the body. This is a little like the calorie shifting, and shock the body kinda thinking, but i thought it may be interesting to try out. With a shrunk stomach- this is kinda saying to me, rather than 5 bites for dinner and lunch, put 10-15 in dinner instead.

thoughts?

yesterday evening was not so good. I used yesterday as a cheat day cuz i felt like my metabolism was getting a wee slow and i didnt want to malnourish myself! I stayed away from bread and chocolate tho (thank goodness), i ate lots of nuts, cheese, sunflower seeds and hummus so atleast it was good stuff that had lots of protein and healthy nutrition- and OMG my stomach was so so full!!!! i felt so bad about it, but i tried my best to remember that i was doing it on purpose and that my body needed some nutrition to run on.

NOT weighing in till the weekend.

today was kinda light. my stomach was bothering me earlier prob in response to the strange increase in food it got yesterday. so i had half a light egg and spinach sandwhich really slowly (5 bites), and then had about 1/4cup of stirfried veggies and a half a veggie patty for dinner (5 big bites)

i think a few times a week (probably the days that i work out) im going to add in a muscle milk just to make sure that i dont get protein deficient and to replenish my amino acids.

I am also going to add in some gym time 3 times a week starting monday (hopefully ill by 106 by then?) to make sure that i dont gain while adding in the extra yum yums.

I made a promise to myself that I would not skip lunch anymore like i know i have been. I dont want my hairloss to come back. I also need to make more conscious choices about what i use my 5 bites for and be smart and not weight loss crazy, im near my goal, no need to screw it all up now the final few lbs can take a month to come off if it wants to, as long as it comes off eventually and i learn to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I will also more strictly follow thru with supplements to make sure that i dont trigger anything else in my life. After i get down to my goal weight i will also integrate a very healthy and very light breakfast (i will aim for under 100 calories not including tea)- just to get the metabolism going, break the fast, and to tell my body, YES ur getting food please dont freak out!

im really excited about this new leg in the race, and i will of course keep u all updated on whats up!

okay so after my stomach stopped being dramatic i ate WAY more than anticipated (and all in the evening too).... so now i feel really tubby and failure-ish and the scale says im back to 110... which i dont know if its the food's weight or if i actually gained 3 lbs in a 2 days.... but anyway... determined to get back to 107 PRONTO! That weight cant possibly be a serious gain, and if i can gain that crap in 2 days i can sure as hell lose it in 4...

I'm going to see my bf on thursday and im DETERMINED to make it back to 107 by then, no if's and's or BUT's!!! Im pretty sure all the weight its actually in my stomach region- i swear i can see it- so hopefully with a little good behavior i can bring myself back to pre-stupid-stomach-acting-up, and get back with the program!

omg update- today's my lil bro's bday so i MAY have been nothing but horrible with my diet today. Not 5 bites by any stretch.... but i only really ate veggies and some cheese so it wasnt that bad for calories- prob like 3-400 or so. sigh. tomorrow is monday, which means jokes are over and im back on till i hit 105. i think tomorrow is going to be a fast day, i think my body could use it to help get centered. I feel like ive been so out of control for the past 2 days, need to come back and quickly.. im going to actually go for a little jog on the ole treadmill in a few minutes- so that should at least be progress.

okay! so monday starts new things, back on track and hopefully ill be back to 107 by thursday. Today is going to be a fast day, so nothing at all in the tummy but coffee and tea and water. Im so ashamed of the eating over the past few days, everytime i look at my reflection i go "sigh.... never again..." how many times have i put those words on this forum huh? but anyway, today is all about POSITIVITY!

k yesterday wasnt HORRIBLE- but it could have been better. sigh... just feel really frustrated and annoyed with myself, i have to find my strength again.. HELP!!!!

okay so i decided something that i think is important and i want to share it with the community. In my month's experience on this diet, I know that this diet works. I know that i can stick to it, and i know that with discipline i'll get to my goal fast. BUT i also know that about 3 weeks ago i said "2 more weeks and im done!!" and here we are, feeling like a failure. So i decided, regardless of what my goal is, or how far i have come, it really makes no difference at all. I AM only what i weight NOW, not my future intentions or the weight that is now off me.

That being said, i shouldnt tell myself- 2 more lbs to ur goal and ur done! and i also shouldnt say- but u lost 16lbs its not too bad if u gained 2-3 over a short while. NO im still on the diet and i still have to have discipline, also NO a gain is bad any way u cut it and it brings me farther from my goal- which means that im making myself suffer for a longer time than i have to. This diet is a tool to get to a goal and live there for the rest of my life. Its a habit that i should adopt and make sure that i DONT have to lose 20 lbs ever again- i shouldnt put myself in that position.

Additionally- each day should be focused. I should not have cheat days and bad days. I also should not spend time being upset with myself for eating. If i did a bad thing in the past (whether thats last week or 5 minutes ago) I have to move on and act PRESENTLY in a way that will help towards the goal. If i eat something that i shouldnt when i dont have to- but just cuz i lost control- that should mean that i spend some time doing something active to HELP, and not sit and be like CRAP CRAP CRAP and be upset and destructive.

If i dont have to eat and no one is making me and i honestly am in total control over myself and THEN i bury myself in slices of toast and jam and whatever else.. then thats my being weak, no one elses fault, just me with my head where it shouldnt be. But i should not say, well its a day lost, screw it, ill fast TOMORROW and make it worse. i should say okay, that last slice of bread i had, RECOGNIZE that it was bad for the diet, and then step away, take a few breaths and say that im now moving on from it, it happened and its over and you had ur moment, now move along. Maybe my body wanted it/needed it- but it certainly didnt need 5 SLICES, the rest was gluttony!

so- i decided that i will attempt to control my own self better. I am not done with this diet, and im not going to gain the weight back. Yes i have to see my boyfriend in 2 days, and yes im not going to lose all the weight that i likely gained over the past weekend that is KILLING me emotionally. BUT i will lose the weight by the end of the week if i take a stand, start over, and be strong in the face of yummy tubby food TODAY. Yes i have damaged some of my progress- but its not all lost as long as i keep my cool.

Sorry i realize that was a HUGE rant... im entirely too logical of a person, sometimes i need to just work things out, and then make decisions and then actively move along from that beginning.

That was a great rant Those are the exact things that I should be telling myself. It is one thing to tell myself those things, then actually hear someone else telling it to themselves. Thanks for the good dose of logic!

ranting really helps. =) plus it inspires people like me who are lazy bones to get with the program! lol i enjoyed reading it and plan to follow your example.

as for the seeing the boyfriend thing- i encourage you to look at what 3jaysmom reminded me of in my journal. im sure, being a guy, he wont notice extra pounds here and there and will simply be thrilled to see YOU! because of your wonderful, ranting, entirely too logical brain and self. =)

(i dont know how to do a hug thing on here, but if i did, i would.)

aw thanks for the support guys u made me smile. haha and yea, i know that my bf is just going to be excited to see me regardless of anything else, just kinda wanted him to be like wow.

today is going well tho- just a little tea in the morning, and coffee for lunch, i think im going to forgo the dinner today just to get myself back on track and start off tomorrow fresh and new and ready to rumble.

yesterday was super successful!! I only had a cup of tea with milk and sugar and a cup of coffee and oodles of water thru the day and i skipped dinner. My body reallllly needed a fast day just to get back in control mentally and physically. I had to deal with a grumbling tummy and some headaches, but i woke up this morning and i was on point. Im presently in the library, and i feel mentally focused and in control of my tummy and my MIND (i know that sounds hokey). I brought some tea with me, but i think i added too much stevia- cuz its not that yummy, and has that funky bitterness to it- Starbucks is downstairs- later ill get a little fill up. yippeeee

on the bright side- i sucked it up and weighed in this morning at 109. oh man i thought after all the cheese and bread i ate that i was going to end up with a 114 nightmare or something... so only 1.5lb increase since friday morning... i can live with that. If i play my cards right i could have that off by the weekend. Regardless, my stomach doesn't really feel all that empty so hopefully i can keep the motivation alive today and have another perfectly centered day. Today is a day for focus and discipline and getting right back to where i started.

whoa down to 107.. damn that was quick.

Isn't it crazy when you don't lose for days, and then all of the sudden you get a 2 or 3 pound loss? That seems to happen to me randomly

yeahhh esp since i was SO BAD over the weekend and ate everything!

so, i love my boyrfriend so much... he's so sweet, i saw him and he was like "u were gorgeous before, but now ur even more beautiful than i've even seen, and ur making people jealous!" if thats not just the love and support i needed to finish this diet, i dont know what is. what a guy.

anyway, enough of the mushy stuff -- i stuck to the 5 bites while i was in philly which was amazing to me cuz i thought i was going to be horrible dietwise.

Has anyone ever heard of Jimmy Johns? well they make the BEST most healthy sandwhiches ive ever had. I was reallllly feeling for a light fresh salad, and everywhere else was closed so we went there and they made me a vegetarian salad IN LETTUCE rather than bread!!!!! i was like whoa go philly for being clever! It was not 5 bites- but it was only 180 calories- which is the only thing that i ate that day, so it worked out! Low calorie, low fat, low carb and all delicious fresh raw veggies. Couldnt ask for anything more to finish a lovely few days. and it was $4.50!!!

Back on the diet tomorrow, gotta get down to 105, and then start adding in the weights. I feel totally recharged and rejuvenated and ready to take on the rest of this job!!!!

didnt weigh in today, but i think im going to give myself a little recharge day. With the pressure i put on myself to get down to as little as possible by june 17th i've been pushing myself pretty hard on this diet. I think today ill eat a little more than normal- staying away from simple carbs and fats as much as possible and try to just restock on nutrition.

so mayyybe i overindulged a little- but i didnt eat anything "unhealthy" no sweets, no simple carbs, and just a little mozz cheese for fat, most of my "bad" behavior was in whole wheat bread and mozz cheese on saturday and 2 slices of pizza i had on friday. Not horrible. But, i do feel heavy and icky about it. Today im going to do a little day time fast consisting of as much tea and coffee and water as i want- and conclude with a light dinner of veggies most likely.

I dont think that getting down to 105 is going to be enough, especially when i add in gym time and gain muscle weight, so im going to make my new goal 100, after that point ill start lifting and running again, which should put me back up to 105, but be nice and toned at the same time.

- that makes me new goal about 7lbs off i think (didnt weigh in today)

yesterday wasnt too bad, didnt really eat anything thru the day, and had a huge tossed salad with 2 slices of bread (that was the bad part) for dinner. It was not 5 bites, but i think i probably had a max of like 500 calories. Since that was all i ate for the day, i guess its not too bad, tho my tummy feels really full and unhappy about it.

Today starts the first day of my real buckling down. no more funny business, this weight needs to drop off so i can finally get down to my goal weight, and start working out- cuz i really want to start eating again like a normal person, and i know that the only way i can do that and maintain a healthy lifestyle is thru my daily jog and lifting- which i dont have the energy for till im done with this diet!! UGH. so i know this weekend wasnt all that great for the diet, and i havent weighed in, BUT im thru with being stuck in this rut. No more ups and downs, gains and losses only to end up right where i started!

I set a realistic goal as july 3rd (sat) to be done with this diet and down to 100lbs. im probably about 108 right now, so thats 2 weeks approx to lose 8 lbs. sigh. the weight is def coming off slower now than it was at the start of this diet, so i hope i can make it happen. Im going to weigh in every day until that point is reached so that i am more encouraged to NOT FAIL!

Do not lose hope! You have done better on this diet than I have and for much longer. You are officially a motivator and a role model for me. This week with the challenge will be easy, just kept telling yourself that. I'm naturally kind of competitive so maybe we will turn it into a game. You are doing fine. Eat little, eat healthy, and I am behind you! And if u need us to yell at you lol I will try my best to chew you out if u ask me to.

Here's to the beginning of a full good week. Hug!

ha same here. im going to try to lose as much as possible in the next few weeks. totally with u in making june count, lets kick this weight off for good!

and yes, kick my butt if needed!!

alright- so im really upset. So i know i had a little indulgent day on saturday, and i had a FEW slices of bread for dinner yesterday along with a salad of mostly greens. but how can i gain 3 lbs on that IN 2 DAYS!!! i mean REALLYYY 110?!!! thats a surplus of 10,500 calories to gain that!! which NO WAY happened!! and on top of that i had NOTHING to eat today, just a cup of tea and a coffee... and yet this insanity?! UGH, im hoping its just water, i did chug a lot of it today.

im not going to let this discourage me, and i will not admit defeat. I just had 2 spoons of super spicy salsa for dinner, and thats it.

109 lbs

alright so after yesterdays fast, and a very TIRED evening, im back in action. I love the way that fasting makes me feel. So in control the next day, and very ready to rock. Im not really that hungry or that weak today- went for a walk in the morning and it was just fine! Now that my hunger-stat has been reset i can eat when i feel like i should and not be chained to my appetite, which is a MUCH better way to go about this diet. the weight moved a little- perhaps the gain yesterday was cuz of all the water etc that i took in. Regardless, im trying to just take the number in, and not let it deter me from the diet (you know how discouragement just makes u throw in the towel and eat those crackers with cheese!). I dont care what the numbers are saying, as long as they are going down im happy.

that is excellent progress!

i was exhausted yesterday evening as well.
weird...

heres to a loevely tuesday! and im so happy you recognise the number change like i do. its motivational, but at the same time it can throw you off. im like "oh im down a pound today so i can cheat.."

tsk tsk.

alright- so 108, but its alright- i think im holding onto water, its been really hot and humid here in NY..

i've also kinda been eating the same thing everyday, for lack of time and creativity... i skip breakfast and then have tea mid-morning, followed by 5 bites of a egg/sandwich thin/spinach sandwich for lunch, and a very light dinner of just some spicy salsa, or a handful of chickpeas or something. Today i decided to mix it up a little. i brought a little greek yogurt with strawberries and blueberries with me for lunch today, i figured id eat like 5 bites of that for lunch, chuck the rest and see how my body reacts... hopefully a change in nutrition will have a nice effect. Im still hitting this diet hardcore, and i plan to be really strict about it until july 1st. After that point i will have to learn how to eat and work out like a normal person and not gain weight like my old fatso self. I feel like that might be the hardest part of this diet. I mean right now, we gain a little, we can lose a little- but u dont want to keep that up forever.. i want to be able to eat just enough that i dont have to think too hard about maintaining my weight, and i think it comes from conscious choices. Its a learning process...

108.0

so im craving MAJOR BIG TIME right now.... i brought a little carrot salad with me for lunch today. i heart carrots. but my sweet tooth is acting up--- so im trying REALLY hard to not cave in. Im going to steer well clear of the kitchen when i get home today, or else i fear an evening disaster!

- today was pretty darn great. my craving was totally gone by the time i got home. Just had some grated carrots for lunch, and about 5 bites of wilted kale with sea salt for dinner... drank LOTS of water!!!! i made some carrots and cucumber grated together for lunch tomorrow, and im sure as HELL not eating pizza tomorrow (friday) for dinner. im sticking to my decision to get this weight done and over with, 7 more lbs by july... thanks for the motivation darkshine!!

im not too tired- despite the fact that this week i kinda ate the same amt as a normal person would have eaten in a day. I need to stick to the diet and not spend a night or 2 eating the house down, and then starving for 4 days to get back to my starting point. This needs to be continuous if im going to get down to my goal. I also know that i need to start doing something physical, even if its just walking at an incline... i have to get the metabolism up. My stomach is really small, so if i eat like a slice of bread im stuffed and i feel really guilty, but i shouldnt gain weight on that!! its ridiclous! but then again--- i prob shouldnt eat half a ball of fresh mozzerella in 3 minutes either.... cheese addict, i think so....

things im cutting out of my diet till the weight is gone and i have things under control:
cheese of ANY kind
bread- all kinds
refined white sugar (brown, agave, and stevia are still game)
butter (to be 100% replaced with oils, olive or coconut)

hopefully if i set some ground rules ill stick better. Im already a vegetarian, so saying no to meat was okie dokie. Will weigh in tomorrow!

uh oh...

i have the same sweet tooth issue.

but since ive been taking my calcium in the chocolate or caramel bites its gone away. =)

you can do this!